diff --git a/pkg/common/recursive_crud.go b/pkg/common/recursive_crud.go
index 211c93a..04b1290 100644
--- a/pkg/common/recursive_crud.go
+++ b/pkg/common/recursive_crud.go
@@ -113,7 +113,7 @@ func (p *NestedCUDProcessor) ProcessNestedCUD(
 
 	// Process based on operation
 	switch strings.ToLower(operation) {
-	case "insert", "create":
+	case "insert", "create", "add":
 		// Only perform insert if we have data to insert
 		if hasData {
 			id, err := p.processInsert(ctx, regularData, tableName)
@@ -141,7 +141,7 @@ func (p *NestedCUDProcessor) ProcessNestedCUD(
 			logger.Debug("Skipping insert for %s - no data columns besides _request", tableName)
 		}
 
-	case "update", "change":
+	case "update", "change", "modify":
 		// Only perform update if we have data to update
 		if reflection.IsEmptyValue(data[pkName]) {
 			logger.Warn("Skipping update for %s - no primary key", tableName)
@@ -174,7 +174,7 @@ func (p *NestedCUDProcessor) ProcessNestedCUD(
 			result.ID = data[pkName]
 		}
 
-	case "delete":
+	case "delete", "remove":
 		if reflection.IsEmptyValue(data[pkName]) {
 			logger.Warn("Skipping delete for %s - no primary key", tableName)
 			return result, nil
diff --git a/pkg/restheadspec/handler.go b/pkg/restheadspec/handler.go
index 22c22e7..bf99d67 100644
--- a/pkg/restheadspec/handler.go
+++ b/pkg/restheadspec/handler.go
@@ -2043,7 +2043,10 @@ func (h *Handler) processChildRelationsForField(
 	// Process based on relation type and data structure
 	switch v := relationValue.(type) {
 	case map[string]interface{}:
-		// Single related object - add parent ID to foreign key field
+		if !isValidNestedRequest(v) {
+			logger.Debug("Skipping single relation %s - missing or invalid _request value", relationName)
+			return nil
+		}
 		// IMPORTANT: In recursive relationships, don't overwrite the primary key
 		if parentID != nil && foreignKeyFieldName != "" && foreignKeyFieldName != childPKFieldName {
 			v[foreignKeyFieldName] = parentID
@@ -2060,7 +2063,10 @@ func (h *Handler) processChildRelationsForField(
 		// Multiple related objects
 		for i, item := range v {
 			if itemMap, ok := item.(map[string]interface{}); ok {
-				// Add parent ID to foreign key field
+				if !isValidNestedRequest(itemMap) {
+					logger.Debug("Skipping relation array[%d] %s - missing or invalid _request value", i, relationName)
+					continue
+				}
 				// IMPORTANT: In recursive relationships, don't overwrite the primary key
 				if parentID != nil && foreignKeyFieldName != "" && foreignKeyFieldName != childPKFieldName {
 					itemMap[foreignKeyFieldName] = parentID
@@ -2078,7 +2084,10 @@ func (h *Handler) processChildRelationsForField(
 	case []map[string]interface{}:
 		// Multiple related objects (typed slice)
 		for i, itemMap := range v {
-			// Add parent ID to foreign key field
+			if !isValidNestedRequest(itemMap) {
+				logger.Debug("Skipping relation typed array[%d] %s - missing or invalid _request value", i, relationName)
+				continue
+			}
 			// IMPORTANT: In recursive relationships, don't overwrite the primary key
 			if parentID != nil && foreignKeyFieldName != "" && foreignKeyFieldName != childPKFieldName {
 				itemMap[foreignKeyFieldName] = parentID
@@ -2099,6 +2108,24 @@ func (h *Handler) processChildRelationsForField(
 	return nil
 }
 
+// isValidNestedRequest returns true only when the item carries a _request key
+// whose value is one of the recognised mutation verbs.
+func isValidNestedRequest(item map[string]interface{}) bool {
+	raw, ok := item["_request"]
+	if !ok {
+		return false
+	}
+	s, ok := raw.(string)
+	if !ok {
+		return false
+	}
+	switch strings.ToLower(strings.TrimSpace(s)) {
+	case "insert", "create", "add", "change", "update", "modify", "delete", "remove":
+		return true
+	}
+	return false
+}
+
 // getTableNameForRelatedModel gets the table name for a related model.
 // If the model's TableName() is schema-qualified (e.g. "public.users") the
 // separator is adjusted for the active driver: underscore for SQLite, dot otherwise.